Tomato Rice Soup Doesn’t Have Feelings

So, I like omnivores as much as the next person. That’s how it should be, seeing how I was still a meat-eating person just a couple months ago. Besides, what you eat is a completely personal choice, so I harbor no ill feelings towards my omnivore friends. Of course, there’s always a limit, and mine is when people tell me that plants feel pain too. That is when I start rethinking veganism just so that I can GNAW THEIR FACE OFF.

Scientific Proof That Plants Can’t Feel Pain
Just because plants have evolved defense mechanisms doesn’t mean that plants can feel pain. Plants can’t feel pain because they lack a central nervous system and pain receptors! All bilateral animals (basically all animals except the jellyfish and sponges) have central nervous systems. Pain is a sensation that is created in the brain, not in the body itself, so you need a brain to feel pain. Have you seen brains on your carrots lately? Besides, pain was evolved to help animals run away from a negative stimulus, whether it be a bear or a person telling you that plants feel pain. Can plants run? (NO.) Therefore, no need for pain.

Scientific Proof That Plants Don’t Have Feelings
1. When you cut Bob the eggplant’s head off, he does not don a glaringly obvious toupee to work the next day and fervently hope that no one notices…

2. When Lucy gets teased in school for looking like a fatty (she is an avocado, after all) in her new swimsuit , she doesn’t cry in the back stall of her grody high school bathroom.

Therefore, plants don’t have feelings. QED.

Tomato Rice Soup Doesn’t Have Feelings
serves 3-4 | cook time: 25 minutes
This yummy village French type soup is so simple to prepare and is plenty delicious to eat in these last wintry days! The orange really makes the flavor pop.

Ingredients
– 3 tablespoons olive oil
– 1 red onion, minced
– 3 cloves garlic, minced
– 1/2 cup white rice, washed and drained
– 5 leaves Swiss chard, well chopped
– 2 cups water
– 2 cups diced tomatoes (you can use a can, I won’t tell..)
– 1 tablespoon tomato paste
– 1 cup cooked cannellini beans (still can use a can, still won’t tell)
– 1 tsp dried parsley
– 1/2 tsp dried thyme
– 1/2 tsp dried fennel
– zest of 1 orange
– 1 tsp nutritional yeast
– 1 tsp salt
– also the juice of 1 orange

1. In a medium pot over medium heat, cook the onion and garlic in the olive oil until fragrant, or about 3 minutes. Add the rice and stir for about 2 minutes.
2.  Add the chard, water, diced tomatoes, tomato paste, cannellini beans, parsley, thyme, fennel, orange zest, nutritional yeast, and salt. Bring to a boil over high heat, and then lower to a gentle boil for 20 minutes, or until the rice is tender and has slightly thickened the soup.
3. Right before serving, squeeze all the orange juice onto the soup.