Chocolate Chip Cookies

July 30, 2010 § 2 Comments

…because the Internet really needs ANOTHER chocolate chip cookie recipe crawling around. But I had to share the knowledge, my dear readers, not selfishly squandering it away in my brain. I hate to be immodest, but if there is one thing I am sure of, it’s that I can make a mean chocolate chip cookie. (That’s another idiom I don’t understand; why would you describe something GOOD as being MEAN?) Because of these cookies, I’ve received marriage proposals, “I love you’s,” and requests to be on national television. (okay not the last one.) But they’re good, is my point.

Different strokes for different folks, though, and you will only love my cookies if you love your chocolate chip cookies soft and gooey and melting on the inside but crispy on the outside and more chocolate than cookie. If you like them hard and gross and sawdusty, go make your own cookies.

Now, I’m not saying that I am the only one that knows how to make a delicious chocolate chip cookie. There are probably millions of chocolate chip recipes out there. (For example, I’ve been eyeing David Lette’s chocolate chip cookie recipe for a while, because it looks pretty amazing, but you have to wait 24 hours?! For a goddamned cookie? What if major cravings just sneak up on you? I can’t even wait in line for the bathroom without angrily tapping my foot at someone who deigns to waste my time by pooping in a public restroom.) I firmly believe that it is not the recipe that makes the chocolate chip cookie, but the technique, the process, and so I’m not even going to give you a recipe. Use this technique with any highly rated recipe on the internet and I guarantee you a perfect cookie every time.

Instructions for The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie

It’s remarkably simple actually. Think of them as wet little puddles of cookie dough wrapped with an egg shell membrane of crispy and fragrant.

A) If you want a crispy outside but soft and gooey center, you just need the outside to be cooked before the inside, which can be achieved by a higher baking temperature.

1A) I achieve this by putting my cookies in at 375 degrees F for about 8 minutes, or until the tops are no longer shiny but matte, and then raising the temperature to 450 for the last 2 minutes or until the edges are crispy and it is golden brown. These times are approximate! I had a slow oven that needed 13 minutes in total and then I had a raging hot one that could whip out these babies in 7 minutes. So keep an eye on them and make friends with your oven.
2A) I also do not squash my cookies down before I put them in the oven,  because the heat makes them spread out anyways, and if you squash them at first they’ll get too thin and you won’t have a thick center, and if you have no center, then it can’t be a gooey center.


B) Architecturally sound cookies does not a good cookie make. In other words, if you want the cookie to still be gooey when it has cooled (although why wait, just eat the whole batch at once!), you need it to be barely able to hold its shape when it’s straight out of the oven. If it’s gooey out of the oven, then when it cools it’ll be dry and you’ll need to gnaw on it.

1B) This means that you must use either parchment paper or a Silpat to line your baking sheet, because they’re hopelessly floppy straight out of the oven and you’ll never get them off the baking sheet otherwise.
2B) You may or may not have to wait 2-4 minutes while they cool down a bit in order for them to regain enough structural strength to lift them off the baking pan with your spatula.

C) Dark chocolate. Dark chocolate. Not semi sweet, not milk, not white, dark. Even if you don’t like dark chocolate, use it. And use large chunks. Mine were almost the size of a dime.

And that’s it! If you don’t believe how good my cookies are, email me and I’ll force feed you a cookie and make you take back your doubts.


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§ 2 Responses to Chocolate Chip Cookies

  • Anna says:

    Ah, Wanda’s wonderful cookie wisdom. You need to put up an oatmeal cookie recipe sometime so I can stop making cakey apple cinnamon walnut oatmeal cookies. 😛

    Who gave you a marriage proposal from these cookies?

    • Thursdays With Wanda says:

      I want to say Dan, but probably only because he’s in Vietnam and can’t dispute that claim.

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