On Becoming Vegetarian

July 1, 2010 § 3 Comments

You know what I don’t get the concept of? Born again virgins. I understand tons of unfathomable things, like Snuggies and how things as silly as flamingos evolved. Just not born again virgins. It’s just that it sounds almost like you’re cheating. You get to walk around with your little badge  that make people around you go “OOoooooooOOooo” when you don’t deserve it…waiiittaminnute…

…..I might…just… be one of those people. Metaphorically of course. Don’t worry if you don’t understand the metaphor because no one understands my metaphors, but I’ll try to put in captions for clarity. I’m a born again vegetarian (virgin). I try and try and try to abstain from meat (hot hot Irish men), but always end up succumbing and scarfing meat down (going into the slut phase). Then I go on a I’m never eating meat again it is destructive to the environment and morally questionable!! (pray harder on Sundays!!) binge.

Creeping up on unsuspecting chickens...

You wouldn’t guess from this blog, but I actually try not to eat meat that often, because for the past year I’ve been tryyyyinnnng to become vegetarian. As you CAN see from this blog, it’s not working. My willpower sucks. I’m even at the point where when I eat meat, I will feel sick, but does that stop me…noooo. I’m a stubborn stubborn child. So I’ve settled with at most eating meat twice a week. Is that a good compromise?

Anyways, when I do eat meat, it must be spectacular. Which is how this recipe came about: two almost-vegetarians in a room with a pack of bacon, and a chicken breast…and all we’re thinking is “CAN WE FRY THE CHICKEN IN THE BACON FAT?”

And since this is my blog, yes, yes you can.

This is what screws me over. BACON. Dancing in my dreams...

Rigatoni Carbonara
serves 4-6 | prep time: 10 minutes | cook time: 20 minutes

Ingredients
– 1 box rigatoni
– 1 package bacon
– 1 chicken boob, cubed.
– 10 spears asparagus, sliced into 2 inch lengths
– 1/2 onion
– 5 cloves garlic
– 2 eggs
– 1 cup parmesan cheese
– 1/4 tsp Lawry’s or other seasoned salt

1. Cook rigatoni according to package directions.
2. Meanwhile cut bacon horizontally into 1/2 inch chunks and place into a large cold pan. Heat to medium-high, then fry for 7-9 minutes, or until the bacon is browned and have given up most of their fat. Evacuate the bacon to a paper towel lined dish, but leave the fat there…
3. Because we’re going to fry the chicken in it… Yup. Just dump it in the hot fat. Fry for 3-4 minutes or until browned and center is just barely pink (it will continue cooking with the residual heat.), then make it join the bacon.
4.  YOU KNOW THE PROCEDURE NOW. We’re throwing the asparagus, onion, and garlic in the hot fat too. Fry for about 1-2 minutes.
5.  By now, the rigatoni should be cooked and drained. In a large bowl, mix all the ingredients together, making sure that the pasta isn’t so hot as to scramble the eggs. All that’s left is to tell skinny people it’s healthy and has 100 calories per serving, and you’re done!

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§ 3 Responses to On Becoming Vegetarian

  • Dan says:

    Sounds good, but where’s the picture?!

  • […] Now before you gasp and shake your head in disapproval and say that I changed everything about myself for a guy (albeit a very good looking one), that really isn’t the case. From the get go, he always said I could keep my omnivorous lifestyle, and that veganism was his own personal choice. Which was good, because if he said that I had to give up meat for him, I would have stubbornly pointed my stubby nose in the air and ignored him forever and probably eaten meat just to spite him. But even before that point, I was already at a crossroads with what to eat and not eat. (If you remember a couple of blog posts ago, I had written a short and now embarrassing blurb about my sad attempts to be vegetarian.) […]

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